Reminiscence
by CrowOfMist
Summary: Jellal Fernandes is a mage with a dark past. A dark past he had to remind himself of everyday as he lives.


The same time every year, Jellal would visit Simon's grave at the island where the Tower of Heaven once stood - to reflect, to reminisce, and to regret. It has been tradition for him to excuse himself from his duties in Crime Sorciere just to visit the man who lost his life because of the heavenly body magic user's crimes. This year, however, he decided to prolong his visit, for Erza has returned from Tenrou Island and Kagura had already sensed his presence. He had much more to reflect on today than the other times he came to visit.

He arrives at the port, sporting the same attire he'd wear everyday, except with the addition of a heavy, gloomy aura around him. The tattooed(?) bluenette boards the first boat he sees, knocking the boat owner unconscious before he could even inquire about their destination. Not wanting to seem like he stole the boat, he slips a bag of jewels into the man's cloak as he props the man against some crates.

"Sorry sire, I'll be borrowing your boat for a while"

He kicks off the wall before using Meteor to accelerate the speed of the boat and assuming his seat. Staring at the orange skies, questions start to fill his mind. What was his purpose for returning to the birthplace of his sins? Why must he torment himself by returning to that place? He sighed as he realizes that he was alone in the middle of the sea. If the heavens were to pass judgement upon him, this lonesome atmosphere would deem fitting for him.

Soon enough, the boat arrived at the island. He once again thanked the heavens for granting him such magic that he could use in such tasks. He disembarks and walks towards the center of the ruins where a stick decorated with Simon's sash stood marking the spot where his body was buried. He drops to his knees as he stares at the improvised tomb of his old friend, the feeling of guilt washing over him as he remembers the way he mocked the deceased dark mage's heroic death. With fists clenched and tears finding their way out of his eyes, he wondered how much things could have changed if he wasn't so blinded by his hunger to resurrect Zeref at that time, if he never hurted his friends, if he never hurted Erza.

He lets out a deep breath as he reaches for a nearby box which contained the momentos he had gathered from Simon's room the first time he came to visit the island. He had browsed through the dark-haired mage's journal at one time, the reason he knew about his sister. Reading the journal amused him for Simon would often remark about how much he missed Kagura, and how he'd save Erza from "The Overlord of Darkness named Jellal".

He sat near the grave with a small smile as he wiped away his tears.

"You could have been such a big love rival if you lived, Simon. You'd win in terms of dedication." He chuckles at the thought.

"Your sister has grown up to be quite the fighter. She's even the strongest mage in her guild, Mermaid Heel. She does hold so much grudge against me though. She has every right to. She lost her brother because of me."

He might have said that to Simon's grave in such a casual manner, but regret was evident in his voice as he uttered the last statement. Why did he have to remind himself a topic which was supposed to be considered taboo? The answer was simple.

Erza told him to.

She told him to always remember. When he reawakened and had no memory of his past, she scolded him and wanted him to live and struggle. To remember the crimes he commited and the people who suffered from those crimes. It was the reason that brought Crime Sorciere to life. It was the reason why he always visited the island where all his sins has piled up to baptise himself with guilt.

"Old friend, I..." he stopped as his voice gets caught in his voice, the tears of guilt threatening to fall yet again. "Simon... Forgive me"

Because of "paradise", he lost his friends. He lost his way to the path of light. And most of all...

He lost the right to love Erza Scarlet.


End file.
